Stefan67 had written: "It's a Getrag...I have a ZF now ..he also quoted me $3,000 to swap it out for a 5 speed....with doing all of the other mods necessary for that conversion"
OK, so we've established that your car is already a manual (i.e., he's not doing an automatic --> manual conversion). You haven't specified what other new parts he is providing - to do the job right, he should replace the: clutch pp, disk, to bearing, pilot bearing, trans mount, shift bushings, guibo joint, yadda yadda, as well as resurface the flywheel. You might ask for a parts vs labor breakdown, and get the labor in terms of X hours @ $Y/hr. Those "X" and "Y" figures might be easier for this group to comment on than the bottom line #. For a top-notch job, $1,600 might be reasonable.
What REALLY puzzles me is the $1,400 difference between the cost of installing a 5 speed vs. a 4 speed. There really is no "conversion" - the right model 5 speed will basicly bolt in. Someone who routinely works on E9's should know the few tricks involved in a 4 --> 5 speed conversion. And, the cost of the used box should be about the same, regardless of the # of speeds.
As someone else commented, if you're gonna pay to have your box swapped out, go with a 5 speed. It really shouldn't cost more than a couple of hundred extra, and you'll save that in gas in the first month!