Regarding the activation mode question. The shop manual section that details the installation of the HWW kit indicates that upon turning on the headlights the system will run through a cycle, which is about 5 seconds. After a 30 second timeout period, further 5-second WW cycles can be invoked by pulling on the wipe wash stalk which will activate both the windshield WW and the headlights WW cycles.
This behavior is entirely controlled by the "Wiper Wash Interval Control Unit" connected to the HWW system harness. None of the 4 or 5 control boxes I've come across have initiated the WW cycle when only turning on headlights, but the boxes also had different, later part numbers. I don't doubt the original iteration of the control box did the initial headlamp WW cycle but later boxes do not, they only run the WW cycle upon depressing the WW stalk.
All the control box does is A) Verify lights (parking/city) are on via a connection to the engine compartment light, B) Limit the HWW cycle to ~5 seconds and C) Prevent a further HWW cycle for ~30 seconds. So you can easily bypass the box, wire things accordingly and have the system work, albeit in a slightly different way. I also believe you can use an ordinary windshield wash timer control box/relay since it provides a similar function, but I have not tried that. Some control boxes are out there ranging between 60-250 Euro.