I´ve run all sorts of stuff in the 265 looking for quiet and good shifting.
90wt doesn´t really make it quieter. What does help is sound deadening on the transmission tunnel and isolating the shifter + makeing the shifter hole more acoustically tight. I´ve put in a rubber cover from an E24 under the shifter console and have the spongy thingy from beneath. Also proper rear support in rubber (E24 parts) for the shifter arm.
90wt doesn´t hurt as long as it´s GL4 (never put GL5 in a manual box, that WILL hurt), but it won´t make it (much) quieter.
Compared to the "high tech red lube" though it will make it much less of a slick shift, especially when cold.
I went to Redline MTL after lots of experiments (about 5 different oils in the 265 to get good shift and quiet) and will never go to anything else again.
Normally I´m not that easy to convince, especially with oils, but that stuff is really great.
In fact if I were to but a brand new M3/M4 with a stick today my first call would be to redline to ask if I can put their stuff in there...