When did you first experience ageism?

[Markos]

I’m starting to get a little tingle of the effects of ageism in my career as a tech guy. While I am “only” in my mid 40’s, Im now in a protected class with over 20 years of experience. Most Sr. level IC roles are about 7 years of experience and mid manager roles are like 3-5.

With the downturn in big tech, I need to update my resume and keep a lookout. Doesn’t help that I work for a startup that hasn’t seen a profit in 15 years. My resume is relatively fresh but exhaustive. The goal is to fight ageism. I need to trim off 10 years of relevant experience, remove my degree years. One thing I learned after interviewing countless millennials (now in their early 40’s) and especially Gen Z - I need to be far less humble in the interview process.

Let’s hear some stories about when you were first slapped in the face ageism in the workplace or a Target parking lot. What did you do about it?

 

[Arde]

My cynical view (what else) is that age is the only diversity dimension ignored by woke culture. And I cannot go into examples because I signed stuff I cannot even disclose I signed. Forget about being a protected class because you are not going to sue your ex-employer, as that will paint you as a trouble maker for the next N-1 employers. Mid 40s is pretty young, stay current is probably the best advice. Things move fast, but the old adage is that in Computer Science everything worth inventing was already invented by IBM in the 70s...

I have a ton of respect for cultures like Japan that value age and experience, the other place you would be spring chicken with a long career ahead would be the US senate. Note I refrained from a really cheap shot at the top job in the country...

 

[tferrer]

Note I refrained from a really cheap shot at the top job in the country...

No...you didn't.

 

[Stevehose]

While working for a company "9-5" I began to see the writing on the wall for my age so in order to build a resume for a pivot, I began to do pro-bono consulting work in my field of expertise (and sometimes out of it ) for anyone who needed a little sage advice. Over the course of a year or 2 I was able to land a couple of paying large companies that were looking to NOT hire full time employees (say in a new division or venture), and therefore much less likely to age me out. In my opinion, consulting is where age and experience still do matter and might be right up your alley, so perhaps start your side gig pivot now, especially since the tech industry is much more sensitive than mine. Once established, then hang your shingle on LinkedIn and with old contacts etc, I get a lot of inquiries from there. Plus I like the flexible hours, I do my best work at night. Downside is lack of job security and benefits but for me the job security issue was loooming large anyway. My kids are off the payroll so that helps also. Consultants are like lawyers - we get made fun of until you need one.

 

[Koopman]

I have a formular for staying young as long as possible. I call it the "Three C's for Staying and Feeling Young".
C #1 : The Clothes You Wear.
C # 2 : The Car You Drive.
C # 3 : The Crowd You Hang Out With.
I have been using this formular since I turned forty and it seems to work for me.
I will be eighty in October and have worked very hard all my working career, working seventy hours a week never taking time off and still working part time.
I loved all my jobs and believe me if you like your job you will never work a day in your life. I have had twenty six surgeries, the latest one being a Cochlear Implant to help improve my hearing which was at twenty four percent. I had Cancer twice and am still at a low number in my battle with Lymphoma. I've had a major Heart Attack and four other heart surgeries including a Pacemaker and Defliberater. That was the time when I walked in the hospital with a heart rate of twenty eight. To top it off I am blind in my left eye since birth.
And the result of all this I still feel and act like I'm FIFTY instead of EIGHTY.
Try my formular and you will be surprised at how you will change.
Thanks for your time.
Harry.

 

[Dan Wood]

If work was to be fun, they would call it "play".

 

[Markos]

In my opinion, consulting is where age and experience still do matter and might be right up your alley, so perhaps start your side gig pivot now, especially since the tech industry is much more sensitive than mine. Once established, then hang your shingle on LinkedIn and with old contacts etc, I get a lot of inquiries from there. Plus I like the flexible hours, I do my best work at night. Downside is lack of job security and benefits but for me the job security issue was loooming large anyway. My kids are off the payroll so that helps also. Consultants are like lawyers - we get made fun of until you need one.

Totally agree on consulting and age/wisdom/experience. I was actually a staff Sr. Consultant for 5 years prior to my current role. In addition to that I was an independent consultant for the five years previous to that. I tend to back off on the independent stuff when I am super heavy in the tech weeds. If I am in meetings all day, technical consulting has been a good creative and lucrative outlet. I don’t see much ageism with consulting, except for the big four firms that want college slave labor.

 

[Markos]

My cynical view (what else) is that age is the only diversity dimension ignored by woke culture.

I agree that your definition of “woke culture” does tend to ignore the older population. The young population and argue the most “woke” is acutely aware of the limitations of age. They just aren’t in a protected class.

BTW - Edge case aside, I don’t equate the 40+ protected class as having any merit in the work place or practical application in the legal arena.

 

[Wes]

When Lola asked me 'how come you're so much older than mum?'

*I'm three years younger - just been a hard day

 

[Markos]

I have a formular for staying young as long as possible. I call it the "Three C's for Staying and Feeling Young".
C #1 : The Clothes You Wear.
C # 2 : The Car You Drive.
C # 3 : The Crowd You Hang Out With.

Oh crap!

1. I’m wearing dad cargo pants that convert to shorts.

2. My stable holds a subaru wagon and a honda minivan

3. I hang out with the parents of my children’s friends. They also drive minivans and subaru wagons.

 

[vince]

You know you are old when your doctor, priest, and boss are all younger than you. I'm there.

 

[sfdon]

Tahoe Donner Ski Resort 10 years ago- tell the sweet young counter help I want a lift ticket for the day.
She said “oh no- Over 70 is free!
I was young and proud back then. I insisted on paying….

 

[Wobdog]

What was the question, I forgot. JK.
I think hanging out with younger people and staying current with contemporary music and culture. My aunt was ageless and she always had a passion and intrest in what is new. She asked tons of question and was engaged. Love going to BMW events because I feel BMW attracts a younger crowd.

 

[Markos]

Tahoe Donner Ski Resort 10 years ago- tell the sweet young counter help I want a lift ticket for the day.
She said “oh no- Over 70 is free!
I was young and proud back then. I insisted on paying….

That is rough!

 

[coupedegrace]

I'm not sure if I've experienced any overt ageism. If I have I certainly didn't notice it.

An interesting thing did happen to me just last week though - the interesting part being my reaction to a simple question. As a little background, I'm the second or third oldest employee in my workplace. The three of us putting the drag on the actuarial table for medical insurance rates are probably at least 15 years older than the next cohort of employees and it gets younger from there.

There were three of us working in a shared office space. The other two were working while also talking about possibly returning to school. One of these employees is 35 and the other probably 23. The 35 year old said that they didn't feel like they were good at anything. The youngest said something along the lines of "maybe it just takes awhile to figure out what you're good at." Then they turned to me and said, "Dan, how old are you? Do you feel like you're good at things? When did that start?" I don't think the age question was asked with any malice, subterfuge or any other nefarious reason behind it. If anything the recognition of a difference in ages while soliciting my opinion showed that they valued my age, whatever it may be. Implied in the question was the assumption that I had some different perspective to offer, and that arose from a greater breadth of experiences.

So for all of that, I balked at saying my age. I just said, "I'm certainly older than 35," and then went on to answer the other questions. I was actually taken off guard by my own response. I'm certainly not ashamed of my age. I also didn't (and still don't) think that answering the question would've harmed my career there in any way. I value my working relationship with these coworkers, and I think I was worried that stating my age, 57, would change that relationship in a negative way. It's quite possible that I'm older than the youngest one's father, and I could be the same age as the older one's. That's not very likely, but still possible. So somewhere in the back of my mind was the worry that knowing my age would change the way they saw me and/or interacted with me. "Whoa, you're older than my dad. Let me get you a wheelchair." But that's not really giving my coworkers the benefit of the doubt.

I've worked in organizations that had a real rat race vibe or culture. This one isn't one of those at all. The fact of the matter is I expect I'm not nearly as cool or hip as I think I am, and they've probably already pegged me as around ten years younger than the president. I guess the moral of this story is that I didn't experience ageism at that instant, but rather let a fear of ageism control my response.

 

[Klassic]

Last week my first experience:
Just turned 60, went to a restaurant, they had an "over 60" menu option, I went for it. My wife was appalled, she sarcastically offered to chew my food for me as well.
Talk about ageism, they gave me an "age appropriate serving", I stopped at MacDonald's on the way home.....

 

[Dan Wood]

Jobs for life went away with retirement programs and 401k seven year vested timeframe. Now there is no reason for employees to remain with the same company and for companies to keep employees through tough times. Always be prepared.

 

[craterface]

In medicine, it's the opposite. When I was in my 30s, a lot of my octogenarian patients were distrustful of Doogie Howser. Now that I have some gray hair, they are fine.

My brother had a career in banking in NY, and he was always the only guy with gray hair in the room. He definitely experienced ageism, and it was rough.

 

[Arde]

No...you didn't.

Yes, but I nuanced it I think.
I will vote for Markos to atone my sin.

 

[dave v. in nc]

You want an old lawyer and a young doctor, or is it the converse...I can't remember