Thank God for rust holes!

Gor

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Who is this newbie you are wondering...He must be crazy!...
Please allow me to explain before you write me off. I purchased the rhd 2800csa from my girlfriends dad, more than 30 years ago. He was a classic car enthusiast, and had just driven it back to London from Scotland. On giving the car a more thorough inspection he noticed rust in the sills. Knowing this could be costly to repair, he decided to sell it on. But my girlfriend had already fallen in love with this bright orange beast, and so, using her feminine powers of persuasion, somehow got me to buy it from her dad, who sold to me on the cheap. I took the car to my local BMW service centre, and they told me £90 quid to repair it... Result, I thought... and left it with them.
The next day I got the phone call, the rust was worse than they had expected, and it was going to cost more than four times what they had quoted!!!... I didn't have that amount of cash available at the time, so I drove her home and parked her up in my garage.
So why thank God for rust holes you ask???
Well, 30 years later, we now have to sell the land where she has been parked, and I must now move her.
I have somehow mislaid the keys, so I got the keycode from BMW, and sent that off to keys4classics, in Australia, for a replacement. The guy there, Stuart, was extremely helpful, but informed me the keycode was wrong, and that I could take the correct code from the ignition barrel... But I'm locked out and can't get to the ignition... So I try pushing a thin plastic strap between the windows, and, eventually manage to hook it over the little locking thingy, just inside the door.
It's to no avail, it just keeps slipping off!! Maybe its time to call an auto locksmith out... So I stop for a cigarette break, I know its bad, and I shouldn't, but I do. I happen to drop the lighter and it rolls under the car. I take the torch and shine it to search behind nearside front wheel, and notice what looks like a little bit of undercarpet, hanging down from under the footwell. So I investigate further, and find a small round opening, that's just big enough to get my hand in in. I push up through the carpet and I'm touching the passenger door handle. Little clunk, and I am in. Thank God for rust holes!!! Looks like someone has removed a small (6") circular plate from the footwell. I open the glove box and find the owners handbook, which showed me how to pop the bonnet...It's been so long I'd forgotten... More of this saga next time, if anyone is interested .
I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place.
Kind regards,
Gor
 

Gor

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The 2800 csa and the "mislaid key"

Hey oneills,
Glad you like the story so far,
and thanks Stan for your comments, although I'm afraid to say I haven't a clue who or what the "Roundel" is.
And Arde, I almost forgot...since you are showing some interest in the matter... I have been searching high and low for the keys, over the years, and can you believe I actually found them once. I thought, wow, what a place, no one would ever find them there! So I put them straight back again...How could I be so stupid???
Maybe I'm right, but if I am wrong, and I do happen to come across them again,(I have given up looking now), I will be sure to send you a photo of the precise location. That way you will know if "you may know where I left the keys".
Only joking, I will not send a photo, just tell me where you think they are, and I'll confirm or deny it.
Not even that bothered now, I believe I only have to expose the ignition barrel, find the number, and send that on to 'keys4classics', as I have asked Stuart to keep me a spare, just in case.
Looks like there is just four small screws to undo. Might have a pop at that a bit later, after all, it's been 30 odd years, and we don't want to rush things now, do we.
More to come, if you are interested.
Kind regards,
Gor
 

tmason

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Welcome and yes keep the story going!
A lot can happen in 30 years and not sure why you wouldn't have driven it before now but Arde can add to that part of your story if you have forgotten why?
Now going to your rusty hole,is the floor pan rusted out?
Thanks for sharing and add photo's when you get a chance.
Thanks Tim
PS Did you marry that girlfriend?
 

Arde

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Only joking, I will not send a photo, just tell me where you think they are, and I'll confirm or deny it.
...

I see you getting some wrenches from the toolbox to work on something else and left the key in the trunk lock because one cannot plan that many steps at the same time. The above is likely if the key did not have a key chain.

If the key had a key chain that changes everything and the key was in the pocket of a pair of corduroy pants that were discarded in disgust when you gained weight and could no longer wear them.

Look forward to all your denials on keys and weight.
 

tmason

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Arde, I think you are wrong on pant style. They were Black Disco Pants with very small pockets,this is why no key ring. And if Gor never married he will still have them in a box on that property but If he did marry they are long gone and work on getting that code from the barrel.

Never mind on the wife,answered on another post.Pants are long gone!
 
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Gor

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Body part

...and so he finally emerges from the arena, filthy and bedraggled, but, once again, victorious, and triumphantly holding aloft his trophy...the prized ignition lock. It's just four little screws, or so I thought...but that's another story.
Anyway...on to those denials that you have been so looking forward to hearing about.
Firstly though, I must apologise for my delay in posting this, but I've been busy dealing with insurance companies...One of those large luxury SUV's, a big black Range Rover Sport, to be precise, ploughed into the back of a little red Mazda MX5, which in turn, was shunted into the rear of my parked blue BMW 330d Touring... but don't worry, no one got hurt...
Stan, I researched 'The Roundel'...Do you really think they'd buy it? 'Cos I could do with the cash!!!... dreams of retiring to a tropical island, lazing on a deserted beach... when two beautiful twenty somethings, in skimpy bikinis, suddenly appear and ask me for a light... but back to those denials, before I get carried away, again!!
Arde, and tmason, I see you both as middle aged and wealthy, intelligent and full of wit, with very vivid imaginations, and happily living "the American dream". How is it that you can almost read my mind, and look into my memories, 'almost', being the appropriate word, from thousands of miles away, in another continent, far across the Atlantic Ocean? So close, yet so far...
I had a few minutes to spare...so, armed with my with my trusty flat head screwdriver, and rechargeable torch, or flashlight in American,I decide to attempt the assault on my ignition lock. I step inside the dim and dusty garage and switch on the flashlight. It's pointing down at the rear of the coupe, just near the exhaust. Lo and behold, can this really be happening, a pair of dirty old corduroy pants, more like a rag, comes into view. Should I? Surely not, but I have to prove you wrong. Hesitantly, I put my hand into the pockets, never know what you might find! I find a one pound coin, not quite what I wanted, but, can't complain! Thanks for that, Arde, I say to myself. "And what's that?" I murmur out loud, spotting
something hiding just inside the exhaust tail pipe. Trusty screwdriver at the ready, I delve into the exhaust. It's only a bit of old chain!!! 'I don't believe this guy' I am thinking...I pull excitedly on the chain, and to my dismay, there is no dimple key on the end. Just a tiny, rusty, little padlock. Never mind, it was too much to hope for, and I've never believed in mind readers,... anyway...The corduroy pants, as you Americans call them, were discarded when they got torn, not because I had put on weight!! I have been called many things in my time, but never fat. I have looked after my body very well over the years. I still sport a proper six pack!!! It's true! And I'm sure I could still fit into those "black disco pants" if I could only remember where I had put them!
A long time ago, when I had just finished servicing a lady friend, and was stepping into the shower, "Gor" she remarked, "you have the body of a Greek God" Now that made me feel really chuffed, and It's something that I'll never, ever forget. A few years later, I was sitting at my computer, when it happened to cross my mind, how did she know what the body of a Greek God looks like? After all, she couldn't have actually seen one in real life, could she? 'Bet she Googled it' I thought, and I typed it into the images section of my search engine. There they are, standing naked, as I was, when she made the remark. I clicked on an image, for a closer look, and I suddenly felt a twinge of discomfort. I hope she didn't mean "body part!!"
Tmason, yes, I did marry that girlfriend, but she was not "the missus" I had mentioned in a previous post. Should I tell you more about 'my rusty hole and floor pan' or would you prefer the saga of the ignition barrel?

"Hey" to dave v. in nc, you are right about the tetanus shot, and Rek, is it still a horror story, when it has a happy ending?
More next time, if you are interested.
This all seems so 'off topic' I hope it's been posted in the right place! Please feel free to redirect it if required.
Kind regards,
Gor
 
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Arde

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Oh Gor so many words obscuring the real plot, you must be a lawyer.
Glad the lock is collaborating and about to spill out its secret. Speaking of secrets I did compare notes with that girlfriend and conversations into a shower are notoriously noisy.
She said you are built like a Budha God, the Greek reference was when she told you she was in bed with Meningitis and you broke up assuming infidelity.
Not challenging your assertions, just providing and alternate version you could dispell with pictures of car, sixpack, girlfriend, and corduroys. No shower pictures please.
 

Gor

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I'm not a lawyer, I'm a tattoo artist!!

Oh Gor so many words obscuring the real plot, you must be a lawyer.
Glad the lock is collaborating and about to spill out its secret. Speaking of secrets I did compare notes with that girlfriend and conversations into a shower are notoriously noisy.
She said you are built like a Budha God, the Greek reference was when she told you she was in bed with Meningitis and you broke up assuming infidelity.
Not challenging your assertions, just providing and alternate version you could dispell with pictures of car, sixpack, girlfriend, and corduroys. No shower pictures please.
Oh Arde...your reply made me laugh so much I can hardly type!!!
So I'm keeping this one short.
I will start posting pictures, very soon...perhaps later on today, if I can find the time.
Unfortunately I can only provide you with photographic evidence of car and six pack, as they are both still in my possession...the girlfriend and the cords are already out with the trash...
More next time, if your interested.
Kind regards,
Gor
 

Arde

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Fair enough.
Sixpack pictures while holding today's New York Times to prove they are still alive...not when Nixon was in office.
 
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